CARITA RIZZO

“Hi, I’m Carita, nice to meet you” “Sorry, what was that?” Here we go... “Carita” “Clarita?” “No, it’s ‘Car’ – like the one you drive – and Rita” “Carlita?” “Yeah, something like that” You and I are so going to be friends... “That’s so pretty! Where is it from?” “What, the name?” “Yeah!” “The name is Spanish. It means little face.” Gregory Itzin from 24 knew that. You, however, look puzzled. “I’m not. Spanish, that is,” You had to open the window! Why did you open that window? You could have just said 'It’s Spanish' and shut up! You could have said Mary from Omaha! But no, you had to go there... “Really? Where are you from?” Lie! Lie! “Finland.” Fine tell the truth. “Really?” “Yes, really.” No, I just said it to confuse you. “How long have you been in the States?” “Since 2003.” “You don’t have an accent!” “Yeah...No...” This is so awkward. There’s no proper response to 'You have no accent'. Thanks? No, I don’t? I'm a superspy? I watched a lot of TV as a kid. “Have you always spoken English?” “I’ve been taught English at school since the age of 9. I did my degree in journalism in Edinburgh, Scotland. And a six month program at the University of Tennessee.” “Wow. What are you doing here?” Ok. This could go in so many directions. “I’m a writer. Well, I’m married to an American, but now I’m here and I’m a writer. A married writer.” You should have said “I work as a visa officer for the Consulate General of Finland”. That stopped every conversation dead in its tracks... “What do you write?” “I write everything. Articles, interviews...” “Who do you work for?” “Everyone...I worked for my government. I'm a contributing writer for TV Guide. I've worked as a translator for Disney...” “Really? How’d you manage that?” “I don’t know...Hard work? Recommendations? Talent...” I hope. And what do you mean 'how'd you manage that'? What’s that supposed to mean? “What’s your immigration status? How can you work for all these people?” What’s it to you? Are you calling the INS on me? “I have a green card” “Wow.” “Yeah, wow...umm. I have to go now. It was nice meeting you.” “You too! We should have lunch! It was Carlita, right?" “Right. Yeah, we totally should. Call me.”   Also, please check out my resume.